A Celebrant’s Guide to Crafting a Personal, Modern Ceremony (Without the Cringe)
Most couples want the same thing: a ceremony that feels warm, real and personal — without dragging on or drifting into cliché. The problem is they don’t always know how to get there. That’s where a good celebrant makes all the difference.
This guide walks you through what actually makes a modern ceremony land.
If you follow these steps, your ceremony will feel like you, not something copied from a template.
Start with your story, not a script
Couples often say, “We don’t know what to include.” You don’t need perfect answers, you just need honest ones.
Think about:
how you met
what you noticed about each other
what you love about each other
the moments that shaped you
what you’re excited for next
A good celebrant can take even the vaguest answers and turn them into something personal and engaging. That’s the magic of having someone who actually listens.
Keep it short, intentional and tight
Modern ceremonies don’t need to be long. Most sit comfortably between 10 and 20 minutes.
Short doesn’t mean rushed. It means every moment serves a purpose. No rambling. When the story flows, the energy stays high and everyone stays engaged.
Ditch the clichés
If you’ve ever sat through a ceremony and quietly thought, “We’ve all heard this before,” that’s the cliché zone.
Couples often want to avoid generic love quotes, outdated gender roles or long monologues that sound nothing like you! Your ceremony should sound like two real people, not a Hallmark card.
Let your personalities lead the tone
Every couple has a natural vibe: fun, warm, emotional, grounded, light.
Your ceremony should match that.
If you’re playful, we bring in humour.
If you’re sentimental, we give space for emotion.
If you’re low-key, we keep it simple and relaxed.
Tone is what makes guests lean in and think, “This is so them.”
Use structure that supports the moment
A modern ceremony still needs anchor points. A clean structure might include:
a short welcome
your story
your personal promises
the legal vows
the ring exchange
a final moment that ties it all together
Structure creates confidence. Personalisation creates connection and together, they create a ceremony that feels polished without being formal.
Write vows that sound like actual humans
This is the part couples overthink the most.
Good vows don’t need to be poetic, they need to be honest.
Use simple language.
Speak like you would speak in real life.
Focus on what you appreciate, how you show love and what you’re choosing together.
Your celebrant should guide you through this and edit gently so your words stay natural.
Keep the “crowd control” smooth
A modern ceremony feels effortless because the logistics are handled quietly behind the scenes:
music cues
spacing
timing
microphones
guest management
photographer coordination
When these things are handled well, the ceremony flows without interruption, and you stay grounded not flustered.
Make space for emotion (yours, not everyone else’s)
Your ceremony isn’t a performance, it’s a moment you’re allowed to feel.
A good celebrant reads the room, honours the moments that need softness, and keeps things moving when things get wobbly.
Emotion is welcome. Overwhelm is not, and that’s the difference.
Choose a celebrant you genuinely connect with
Modern ceremonies rise or fall on connection. You want someone who “gets” you, someone who makes you feel calm and comfortable, someone who can take your story and shape it into something real.
With so many celebrants out there, it can feel impossible to know who’s actually going to deliver the ceremony you want. And let’s be honest — the biggest fear couples have is simple:
“What if they’re cringe?”
The best way to avoid that is to talk to them, have a quick chat and see how you vibe. You’ll know within minutes if the energy feels right or if something feels off.
A good celebrant won’t force a style on you, they’ll listen. They’ll match your tone and they’ll make you feel calm, not overwhelmed. When you feel aligned with the person guiding your ceremony, everything else becomes easier.
Why I became a celebrant
Before I ever stood up with a microphone, I spent years planning weddings and watching other people’s ceremonies.
Beautiful moments, yes — but on occasion, more cringe than anyone deserves on their wedding day.
I kept thinking, This could be so much better. So much more genuine. So much more “them.”
The guests always knew the celebrant wasn’t actually friends with the couple, yet the scripts often sounded like they were pretending to be. It never landed right and it felt forced.
I wanted to do it differently. I wanted to tell a couple’s story honestly… warm, real, personal — without acting like I’ve known them since childhood. You deserve a ceremony that feels natural, not theatrical.
That’s also why I let every couple read their full ceremony script before the wedding. No big surprises or awkward lines and definitely no “rogue celebrant energy.”
Your ceremony should reflect you, not me.
I’m just the person who shapes it, grounds it and delivers it with confidence.
If you want to have a chat to see if we vibe, please get in touch - I’d love to chat!